Self-care is my biggest hypocrisy. I preach it, but have trouble partaking in it. I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s because I grew up caring for my younger siblings. I was a mother for them when I was still a child myself. That meant giving things up. It’s how I transitioned so easily from public to private school. Working all evening as a janitor and then studying all night was difficult, but it was necessary to get to somewhere better.
Continue reading Self-Respect
As a writer trying to break into the world of books, I often feel lost. I didn’t get a degree in English. I hardly even took any English classes. I know my way around dissection tables and crime scenes better than I do a Jane Austen novel. My choice of study was bad decision making on my part. Continue reading Crossroads
Writing has always been a form of therapy for me. As a kid, I used to daydream as a means of escape from boring or stressful situations. To be honest, I don’t think I paid much attention in school at all. As I grew older, I would scribble my frustrations in notebooks and type away my feelings on keyboards. I’ve never found anything that matched the relief it brought me.
Continue reading Roadblocks
Two nights ago, I got halfway through writing a new post. I can’t recall what it was about. But that doesn’t matter anymore. On Monday night, the only thing that mattered was the person on the other end of the phone and making sure they saw another sunrise. Continue reading Hope and Suicide
It’s been a busy couple of weeks. Between preparing for a massive inspection at the station, starting a new work schedule, and re-editing the final chapter of my book, I feel exhausted. But there are few of things that are keeping me going. Continue reading When Life Gets Harder, It Gets Better
Whenever I sit down to write a new character, I end up pausing to double check my research. I think one of the most important aspects of literary casts is diversity, but it’s something you have to do right. It is dangerous to fall into the trap of describing unfamiliar characters through stereotypes. I believe, however, that it is equally as bad to ignore a character’s culture. Continue reading Depth in Diversity
Today was a long day. The crew wanted to head out early, so I woke up at 0230 for the first watch. The radios gave us constant trouble, but I managed to keep contact with them until my relief at 0800. I’ve been running on less than four hours of sleep for the past eighteen clock rotations, but I did it to myself. My supervisor put me in charge of the schedule, and it felt wrong to force my co-worker to do it. After all, she has enough of her own problems right now. Continue reading The Sleepless